Been cleaning up

I think I must be the least resilient person in the world. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm still looking around for China. The pain has faded a little because I'm under prozac (had to go back on the med anyway), but it still lingers though.
I feel ashamed of whining like that, cause I know so many people who lost their family/husband/friends/parents...or just survived tragedy themselves, and still keep their chin up.

Anyway, I've been trying to move my @$$. This must be part of the mourning process (if you've lost someone dear to you, please don't be upset about my using the word "mourning", because for us pet owners, it is a real loss when a pet dies) : I have felt the urge to clean up and change everything around.
Here are a few (bad-it was getting darker when I finished) pics of the deco.

This is my "geeky corner" with toys and old vinyls and my Avengers collection (let's all pretend you haven't seen that).

And this is the "Alice in Wonderland" clock in the kitchen. Ok, everybody has this Ikea clock, but I just love it. Just bought it in red too for the future house.

And I have also changed my hairdo, and for once in a blue moon I don't hate it !

Ok, it's the basic "longer at the front, shorter at the back" do, but I still like it. The girl adapted it to the length I wanted, and she actually listened to what I wanted.

Also, isn't it funny how life has a way of playing with you? Everytime I have lost one of my dear cats, a newcomer showed up in the garden. Many of my neighbours adopt cats that they let astray, and they don't spay them. And it seems that there is a guide of "best houses to stray to", because all the cats in the neighbourhood end up in our garden !
Well, anyway, we have a new visitor, a small red-headed cat that looks like a stayer. Red-headed cats are always stayers, mind you. We have one who showed up in the garden like 3 years ago, and was then fighting all the other cats. We spayed him, talked to him, tried to get him to obey, but he still fought everyone, so we had to give him away to one of my mum's customers. Presumably a reliable guy. Well, the next day he had works at his house and let the door open. I mean, who lets their door open right after adopting a pet ?! The cat ran away, obviously; there was much shouting and crying on my part, because of course I felt guilty for having given the cat to the mor*n !
We went looking around his house (which was 2 miles away from ours), in all the streets, shouting the cat's name. Nothing.
And then before the end of the week the red-headed cat showed up in the garden again, covered in dirt. Only difference was that he never fought the others anymore. Poor cat must have thought that we were "punishing" him by sending him away.
Anyway, I have a feeling that this newcomer is probably in the same vain ! I'll have to take a pic of him one of these days !

Bad news

Hello everyone
Been a while since I have written anything. Shortly after my latest message I have learnt that China suffered from pleurisy and that the issue was more than likely fatal.
So I had been watching her closely every night after work these last weeks, and we had to put her to sleep as her health had dramatically worsened on Sunday night. We went to the vet last Monday morning.
I'm still looking around hoping to see her, and I feel like I let her down (inexplicably, as I've stayed with her her whole last night and I think we couldn't have done anything else, but still).

Here's a video of my sweet little girl a few days before she died :




It was very dark on that day, but you can still see her breathing hard and you can see how sweet and loving she was.

Hopefully I'll be able to post something happier on Sunday.